Okay, this time I am for real...

We are officially engaged! Yup, I said it. He has said it... I have a "fiance" ...pretty exciting!!!!

He is so sweet. Yesterday (Saturday) James suggested we go play soccer at the park... I was like ummm- No! (I'm sick and that just wasn't going to happen!) So, today he was kind of quiet all day. I thought something was wrong. And so anyway- John Adams called James twice (or so I thought because that is who he told me was calling)... and he ignored it both times. I was like "Go call him back- it could be important" So he said he would and went outside?!? I was like whatever- he is up to something. BUT I didn't want to think that way so I prayed to Jesus and asked for Him to remove the very thoughts from my brain and for me to remember that God has the most perfect plan for James and I and that I need to to worry about it.... it will happen when it happens. And so He blessed me with the answers to my pray and it was gone from my brain! James came back and we got ready to go to a picnic. But James being funny- looking at his phone for the time constantly. But again, God protected me and I thought nothing of it at the time. By the way- somewhere in there, James suggest we go on a picnic and then to dinner before church. This is a typical James thing- not so much going on a picnic but not knowing that your supposed to eat on a picnic. He's never been on one before so again I thought nothing of it. :-) We go to the park and picked out a spot in the shade and laid out our blanket. He sat down and I laid my head in his lap and ate some string cheese... I hadn't eaten all day long (I was too busy reading to think about food.) Once I finished, he asked me if I were finished and he then asked me if we had been dating for 15 month or 16 months. I said 16 and he went on with a bunch of sweet nothings... like how much he loved me, how he has loved every minute of our 16 months and how he wants to love me forever.... you know- all those things! It was great. But just a little background info- we say those things all the time. So at this point and I wondering... Is this just him talking or is this where he is going to ask me to marry him?!? I had no clue. Oh yeah by the way- the park we were at was where we met!!!! So anyway, he then kind of hinted for me to sit up and turn around to look at him, so I did. And he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him and of course I said yes! He was so nervous, it was so cute. I have never seen him like that before. Craziness. So, then he prayed for us and our future. He had also planned for us to meet with some of our friends that had been praying for us for pizza at Palio's before church. That was awesome as well!

So that's our story! I love it and love God for writing it... He makes NO mistakes!!!!

Engaged

Well, not really but for real soon! lol. I no longer feel frustrated or torn.... I mean there are still some struggles but nothing like before. I promise I'm not fickle. haha. I just have some more peace then I had previously! God is so good to me and He uses James and others in great ways. Thank you Jesus! :-)


I truly am blessed!

More Frustrations

"SOON" This very word tortures the sides of my soul! Why did I ever have to get excited about?!? I love him and I am so excited about how we are going to be used to glorify the Lord. I just hate how Satan is attacking me and our relationship right now. My nights have been very very rough!

Raindrops keep falling on your head ...or not...

For the past couple of days it has been raining all around Dallas! Not here in Dallas but all around it. WHY? I would like come cooler (NOT COLD) temperatures and a nice hard thunderstorm during the night!!!!

Well, next week marks another anniversary... this one will make 16 months. :-) That's exciting as well as frustrating. I honestly have really days/moments and some not so good. Tonight has been kind of a battle inside of me... it's like rumbling going on in the heart. I keep making and wanting to make all these comments about being married or engaged already... why do I do this? I know this just frustrates James as well as myself. Why do I fixate on it so much? I love him so much and cannot wait to be Mrs. James A. Davis. Like, wow- that is exciting and scary at the same time! I am excited because I know that's what I called to do... to be his wife and no one else's, to respect him, to love him better then anyone else ever could. As he is called to be the one that is supposed to love me more and better then anyone, to show me affection, protect me, and be a leader for me. He will be the father of my child/children. (we'll cross that road whenwe get there.)

I have been researching wedding stuff and it's tough when you really can't make any decisions on a date, place, if it will be here in the states or a destination.... what to do? I do not know but we can't really talk too many details because we are not engaged, he has not bent down on one knee and so on.... What do I do? How do I be patient. I am trying but this is pretty difficult... Please pray for me. I don't want to frustrate James anymore, I don't want to sin against him an God both by not trusting them...

Teacher Truths

Honestly, I can say that is truth in each and every one of these:

1. You can hear 20 voices behind you and know exactly
which one belongs to the child out of line.
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's
Miss Risner!!" and know you have been spotted.
4. You have 20 little people that accidentally call you mommy/ mom at one time or another.
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under fifteen
minutes. 30 minute duty free lunch...YEAH RIGHT!
6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two
distinct times of the school day: lunch and conference
period (UNLESS you're fortunate enough to have a potty in your room).
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most
likely, you can use that toilet paper/paper towel tube
or the plastic butter tub for something in the classroom
or for "creative art".
8. You believe the teachers lounge should be equipped with
a margarita machine.
9. You want to hurt the person who says "Must be
nice to work 7:15am to 3:15pm, enjoy all those holidays,
teachers' conferences and still have summers off". If only they could walk a week in my shoes!
10. You believe chocolate is actually a food group.
11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside!
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if
anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and
correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on yourself.
17. You have an ample supply of 'seasonal' clothing
(Christmas sweaters, Valentines shirts, etc.)
18. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting
at least one thing!
19. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just
made was a "good choice or a bad choice."
20. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly
sharpened pencils (WITH erasers intact!)
21. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
and finally,
22. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves
a certain way after meeting his/her parents!

"But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion." I Cor. 7:9

For 15 months now James and I have been dating. We are not perfect but we certainly try to seek the Lord in all that we do. We fail and succeed daily. I feel that our relationship is healthy and God centered. But we have gone through seasons of really struggling with sexual sin as well as seasons of it not even being close to an issue of any kind. If I am going to be honest with you right here and right now, we are struggling. If you pray and you are reading this, please pray for us! We need it right here and right now. :-) Thank you.

We had a season of struggle towards the beginning of our relationship (like in the first 6 months somewhere) where we were introduced to the term/verse "burn with passion." At the time, it was just something we needed to conquer, and we did. We have now entered another season of this struggle and at 15 months we ponder... is it time for us to move forward and take the next step... and my question is "soon?" If so, what is soon? What does this look like? Are we failing God because we can't seem to keep our hand off one another? Or is this what He has in store for us? I have a friend that when talking about this topic says "Shit or get off the pot." Is this the time? Hmmm... I don't know. I know our time is soon. I know this because he, as in James, tells me it will be soon. And I trust God and in Him I can trust James and what he says. Then, there is another question to that... my definition of soon and James' definition of soon. My soon would be something like by the end of the month and his may be like "You know... Christmas is soon... like just around the corner" HAHA.... he is sitting right here reading this as I type it... so we're having a good ol laugh about now. :-) We love each other but our brains think very differently! hehe. I want to ask myself is this Satan attacking us or is this God breaking us?!? Is God trying to tell us something? Is it the same thing I quoted my friend on? :-) Either way He makes NO MISTAKES and I am okay with that. He takes care of me and will continue to take care of me. I just have to fight this battle, we have to fight this battle together and we'll make it through! I truly believe these words! So please pray for us and hold us accountable! I love you all! :-)

Here is some stuff I found as I was researching this verse:


Psalms 37:4 "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and He shall give thee the desires of your heart."

Proverbs 3:6 "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and He shall direct thy paths."

The Apostle Paul uses the word “fornication” when describing sexual sin. Fornication is defined as any sexual activity outside of marriage. The Message translates Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:18 “There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another.

God intended sex for two reasons: (1) procreation; and, (2) the ongoing connection of two become one flesh in marriage.

Recreational sex only serves a selfish purpose. It is not about valuing the other person as a whole person but as an object of desire.

c. If they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry: Paul’s recommendation to marry in such cases is not based on marriage being more or less spiritual, but on very practical concerns, especially relevant to his day (as explained in 1 Corinthians 7:26, 29, 32). A godly sexual relationship within the covenant of marriage is God’s plan for meeting our sexual needs.

i. Though Paul preferred the unmarried state for himself, he doesn’t want anyone to think that being married was less spiritual, or more spiritual. It is all according to an individual’s gifting. Remember that Paul told Timothy that forbidding to marry was a doctrine of demons (1 Timothy 4:1-3).

ii. Paul “was aware how powerfully a counterfeit show of purity deceives the godly.” (Calvin)

d. It is better to marry than to burn with passion: Paul recognizes marriage as a legitimate refuge from pressures of sexual immorality. One should not feel they are immature or unspiritual because they desire to get married so as to not burn with passion.

i. Paul is not speaking about what we might consider “normal” sexual temptation. “It is one thing to burn, another to feel heat . . . what Paul calls burning here, is not merely a slight sensation, but being so aflame with passion that you cannot stand up against it.” (Calvin)

ii. At the same time, if someone has a problem with lust or sexual sin, they should not think that getting married will automatically solve their problems. Many a Christian man has been grieved to find that his lust for other women did not magically “go away” when he got married.

So here it is. It's on the inside of my my right ankle. :-) It looks like there is some redish color in there but that's just my skin... I think it's irritated from the actual needle and so it's my blood under my skin. I could be wrong though. :-) It will fade some after it peels and flakes off. :-)

S&S Tattoo in Carrollton! :-) Good job Jason!

TATTOO!!!!

Last night I got a tattoo. Yippie!! I went in with a bulletin from church of what I wanted and he got pretty close and it turned out better then I could have imagined! The only thing I am bummed about is that james is something with me... he doesn't know but he is ___________.... I don't know if it is mad, disappointed, hurt, angry.... I don't know???? He was supposed to go with me to my Granny's for her 76th birthday and last night he said he didn't know if he was going to go with me and he couldn't exactly tell me why... So, this makes me sad. I got the tattoo for me... I want to be able to glorify God with it. If it strikes up a convo with someone, I look at it and remember Him, whatever... It's for Him and not for him. Sara and I had an amazing time together getting it bonding and praying together and for each other... we now know 3 men @ S&S tattoo that we can pray for. We had some really good conversations with them about Jesus and we can only pray and hope that the Lord used us to plant or water some seeds!

Anyway, I so happy and so sad at the same time....