My Life

Welp... we're married! YIPPIE!!!!!!!!!

We've spend our first few days home cleaning, organizing, and putting things together.

I love my husband!

the first day of the rest of my life

Well, it's finally here. I'm ready! Tomorrow is the big day. James and I will finally get to call each other husband and wife. And we'll live together and forever be one.

Everyone keeps asking me if I am nervous. I have my moments but no, I'm not nervous. Not about getting married. The Lord put peace in me a long time ago and it's just been a waiting game with God... not really a game but I've just been waiting on His timing and not mine or James'. He's been good to us. Things continue to go our way, even when they go wrong, they get fixed.

So, anyway... I'm not nervous about getting or being married. I do have my little freakout on the inside about the actual wedding. Just that everything is going to go alright... but even if it doesn't go okay, that's still okay becasue that is part of His plan... anyway, next time I'll be Mrs. James A. Davis... or Mrs. Casey Davis!

whoops!

I wrote the title of the last blog before I wrote the actual blog. The title doesn't match what I wrote at all so obviously I had some intentions to write about a certain topic but in my writing non of that came out. I am taking it as a sign that I am not to vent about any of that stuff to you at this time! Maybe later....

Best of Times & Worst of Times

Hello Ladies & Gents!

It's been 20 days since my last post... so sorry to keep you all hanging as I know not many of you actually even read this thing. haha.

Well, just to begin- there are only 34 days till James and I finally get to get married! It is very exciting but man, all these people have all these questions and I just don't have answers for them. There are so many different points to cover that it is just unbelievable. Kristin Woods- I do not know how you do it daily! Oh well, everything will go however God has it planned so I am not too worried about things... that and my cousin (I guess that is what you call her) Jennifer and my aunt will be in charge of everything at the wedding.

Then there is my bachelorette party! YAHOO!! This is going to be a fun night! First we are meeting with the guys for dinner. That should be very interesting but most defiantly a fun time. Then we are going to the W hotel in downtown Dallas to have a little lingerie part (this is james' favorite part) and then on to Ghost bar for a little more fun! :-) What a wonderful time. Back to the lingerie... James and I went to VS today. He picked out another bra for me. Not that he gets to see anything yet but we sure do have fun picking the stuff out! We also looked at some of that lingerie stuff. I tried a couple on. I've never done that before. Wowza- it's weird to put something like that on but kind of fun at the same time. hehe...

With 34 days left before james and I get to do some of that wonderful pillow action - it's hard. Physically we are doing okay. We have our weak moments where we want to take a little too far and to literally stop right then and there and pray and ask God to help us because we can't do it on our own.... of course though that is true with everything. So, I will ask for your prayers in that.

Work is going great. I love everything about my job. What I do, the kids (even my little toots), my team, my boss , and everyone else on staff! It is getting close to the holidays though . You can always tell in an Elementary school. The teachers are going crazy and driving the kids crazy, the kids are going crazy, driving the teachers crazy and everyone is ready to shut down! But there's only 2 days this week and then it's Thanksgiving and then like 3 weeks and it's Christmas break and of course our wedding! :-)

James and I do not know where we are going to live yet. It could be in a 1 bedroom here @ AMLI or we could get to go pick an apartment! My vote is obviously for the second choice. I would love for james and I to actually get to pick where we will live for the 1st time. But that may have to wait till this summer. It's a little frustrating not knowing. I mean, I can't blame Sara. I know she is frustrated as well. I really need to pray about it more... It's all God's timing. He will work out all the little details in His own way! :-)

I've rambled enough.... Good night/day to all!!!!!!!!!!

54 Days

WOW!
Can believe we're getting married in 54 days! It's been almost a month since James proposed and we've got less then 2 months. It's been exciting, easy and hard all at the same time. There are so many decisions to be made... it's crazy how many things that have to happen at one time. It seems like everything keeps falling into place. Now, that is what makes me nervous. Something bad has to happen some time soon... what is it going to be? :-) lol. Anyway, here the updated checklist:

1. Dress
2. Cakes
3. DJ
4. Pastor
5. Location
6. Tux
7. Rings
8. Honeymoon
9. Chairs
10. Linens
11. Favors
12. Table Decorations
13. Chocolate fountain
14. Wedding Showers planned
15. Date for Bachelor Parties
16. Invitations Ordered and being addressed
17. Pre-Marital Counseling begun


I am not sure if there is more or not but a lot is finished. :-)

The Lord is good! And I am excited about getting to marry and live with James. WHOOO HOO!

I'm just so sick & tired of....

being sick & tired, literally! I'm sick with this stupid annoying cough that won't go away. And I am so stinkin' tired it's a bit ridiculous.

On top of those 2 things, I'm busy as crap. It's like there aren't enough hours in the day to get all the things completed that I need to complete. I just need a BREAK! I mean I take some but when I do, other things like work suffers! This weekend we will be in James' company trip in San Antonio (by the way, we are staying in separate hotel rooms- so close to being able to yet SO FAR AWAY! One of these days...) and it's still a pretty busy weekend. Hopefully, I can just sleep in the nonscheduled times... We'll see.

Wish me luck!

Check

• Location
  
• DJ
• Honeymoon booked
• Wedding Night Hotel booked
• Photographer
• Ordained Minister: Geoff Ashley
• Cakes: Elizabeth Engelhadt ....not confirmed but hopefully! :-)
  

...all finished... now on to and small details..... oh my!

The Knot.com

We have officially created a wedding website! It is still a work in progress but we have enough information to post it! :-)

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/CaseyA.Risner&JamesA.Davis

Wow

I love hugs! :-)

Okay, this time I am for real...

We are officially engaged! Yup, I said it. He has said it... I have a "fiance" ...pretty exciting!!!!

He is so sweet. Yesterday (Saturday) James suggested we go play soccer at the park... I was like ummm- No! (I'm sick and that just wasn't going to happen!) So, today he was kind of quiet all day. I thought something was wrong. And so anyway- John Adams called James twice (or so I thought because that is who he told me was calling)... and he ignored it both times. I was like "Go call him back- it could be important" So he said he would and went outside?!? I was like whatever- he is up to something. BUT I didn't want to think that way so I prayed to Jesus and asked for Him to remove the very thoughts from my brain and for me to remember that God has the most perfect plan for James and I and that I need to to worry about it.... it will happen when it happens. And so He blessed me with the answers to my pray and it was gone from my brain! James came back and we got ready to go to a picnic. But James being funny- looking at his phone for the time constantly. But again, God protected me and I thought nothing of it at the time. By the way- somewhere in there, James suggest we go on a picnic and then to dinner before church. This is a typical James thing- not so much going on a picnic but not knowing that your supposed to eat on a picnic. He's never been on one before so again I thought nothing of it. :-) We go to the park and picked out a spot in the shade and laid out our blanket. He sat down and I laid my head in his lap and ate some string cheese... I hadn't eaten all day long (I was too busy reading to think about food.) Once I finished, he asked me if I were finished and he then asked me if we had been dating for 15 month or 16 months. I said 16 and he went on with a bunch of sweet nothings... like how much he loved me, how he has loved every minute of our 16 months and how he wants to love me forever.... you know- all those things! It was great. But just a little background info- we say those things all the time. So at this point and I wondering... Is this just him talking or is this where he is going to ask me to marry him?!? I had no clue. Oh yeah by the way- the park we were at was where we met!!!! So anyway, he then kind of hinted for me to sit up and turn around to look at him, so I did. And he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him and of course I said yes! He was so nervous, it was so cute. I have never seen him like that before. Craziness. So, then he prayed for us and our future. He had also planned for us to meet with some of our friends that had been praying for us for pizza at Palio's before church. That was awesome as well!

So that's our story! I love it and love God for writing it... He makes NO mistakes!!!!

Engaged

Well, not really but for real soon! lol. I no longer feel frustrated or torn.... I mean there are still some struggles but nothing like before. I promise I'm not fickle. haha. I just have some more peace then I had previously! God is so good to me and He uses James and others in great ways. Thank you Jesus! :-)


I truly am blessed!

More Frustrations

"SOON" This very word tortures the sides of my soul! Why did I ever have to get excited about?!? I love him and I am so excited about how we are going to be used to glorify the Lord. I just hate how Satan is attacking me and our relationship right now. My nights have been very very rough!

Raindrops keep falling on your head ...or not...

For the past couple of days it has been raining all around Dallas! Not here in Dallas but all around it. WHY? I would like come cooler (NOT COLD) temperatures and a nice hard thunderstorm during the night!!!!

Well, next week marks another anniversary... this one will make 16 months. :-) That's exciting as well as frustrating. I honestly have really days/moments and some not so good. Tonight has been kind of a battle inside of me... it's like rumbling going on in the heart. I keep making and wanting to make all these comments about being married or engaged already... why do I do this? I know this just frustrates James as well as myself. Why do I fixate on it so much? I love him so much and cannot wait to be Mrs. James A. Davis. Like, wow- that is exciting and scary at the same time! I am excited because I know that's what I called to do... to be his wife and no one else's, to respect him, to love him better then anyone else ever could. As he is called to be the one that is supposed to love me more and better then anyone, to show me affection, protect me, and be a leader for me. He will be the father of my child/children. (we'll cross that road whenwe get there.)

I have been researching wedding stuff and it's tough when you really can't make any decisions on a date, place, if it will be here in the states or a destination.... what to do? I do not know but we can't really talk too many details because we are not engaged, he has not bent down on one knee and so on.... What do I do? How do I be patient. I am trying but this is pretty difficult... Please pray for me. I don't want to frustrate James anymore, I don't want to sin against him an God both by not trusting them...

Teacher Truths

Honestly, I can say that is truth in each and every one of these:

1. You can hear 20 voices behind you and know exactly
which one belongs to the child out of line.
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's
Miss Risner!!" and know you have been spotted.
4. You have 20 little people that accidentally call you mommy/ mom at one time or another.
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under fifteen
minutes. 30 minute duty free lunch...YEAH RIGHT!
6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two
distinct times of the school day: lunch and conference
period (UNLESS you're fortunate enough to have a potty in your room).
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most
likely, you can use that toilet paper/paper towel tube
or the plastic butter tub for something in the classroom
or for "creative art".
8. You believe the teachers lounge should be equipped with
a margarita machine.
9. You want to hurt the person who says "Must be
nice to work 7:15am to 3:15pm, enjoy all those holidays,
teachers' conferences and still have summers off". If only they could walk a week in my shoes!
10. You believe chocolate is actually a food group.
11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside!
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if
anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and
correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on yourself.
17. You have an ample supply of 'seasonal' clothing
(Christmas sweaters, Valentines shirts, etc.)
18. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting
at least one thing!
19. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just
made was a "good choice or a bad choice."
20. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly
sharpened pencils (WITH erasers intact!)
21. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
and finally,
22. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves
a certain way after meeting his/her parents!

"But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion." I Cor. 7:9

For 15 months now James and I have been dating. We are not perfect but we certainly try to seek the Lord in all that we do. We fail and succeed daily. I feel that our relationship is healthy and God centered. But we have gone through seasons of really struggling with sexual sin as well as seasons of it not even being close to an issue of any kind. If I am going to be honest with you right here and right now, we are struggling. If you pray and you are reading this, please pray for us! We need it right here and right now. :-) Thank you.

We had a season of struggle towards the beginning of our relationship (like in the first 6 months somewhere) where we were introduced to the term/verse "burn with passion." At the time, it was just something we needed to conquer, and we did. We have now entered another season of this struggle and at 15 months we ponder... is it time for us to move forward and take the next step... and my question is "soon?" If so, what is soon? What does this look like? Are we failing God because we can't seem to keep our hand off one another? Or is this what He has in store for us? I have a friend that when talking about this topic says "Shit or get off the pot." Is this the time? Hmmm... I don't know. I know our time is soon. I know this because he, as in James, tells me it will be soon. And I trust God and in Him I can trust James and what he says. Then, there is another question to that... my definition of soon and James' definition of soon. My soon would be something like by the end of the month and his may be like "You know... Christmas is soon... like just around the corner" HAHA.... he is sitting right here reading this as I type it... so we're having a good ol laugh about now. :-) We love each other but our brains think very differently! hehe. I want to ask myself is this Satan attacking us or is this God breaking us?!? Is God trying to tell us something? Is it the same thing I quoted my friend on? :-) Either way He makes NO MISTAKES and I am okay with that. He takes care of me and will continue to take care of me. I just have to fight this battle, we have to fight this battle together and we'll make it through! I truly believe these words! So please pray for us and hold us accountable! I love you all! :-)

Here is some stuff I found as I was researching this verse:


Psalms 37:4 "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and He shall give thee the desires of your heart."

Proverbs 3:6 "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and He shall direct thy paths."

The Apostle Paul uses the word “fornication” when describing sexual sin. Fornication is defined as any sexual activity outside of marriage. The Message translates Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:18 “There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another.

God intended sex for two reasons: (1) procreation; and, (2) the ongoing connection of two become one flesh in marriage.

Recreational sex only serves a selfish purpose. It is not about valuing the other person as a whole person but as an object of desire.

c. If they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry: Paul’s recommendation to marry in such cases is not based on marriage being more or less spiritual, but on very practical concerns, especially relevant to his day (as explained in 1 Corinthians 7:26, 29, 32). A godly sexual relationship within the covenant of marriage is God’s plan for meeting our sexual needs.

i. Though Paul preferred the unmarried state for himself, he doesn’t want anyone to think that being married was less spiritual, or more spiritual. It is all according to an individual’s gifting. Remember that Paul told Timothy that forbidding to marry was a doctrine of demons (1 Timothy 4:1-3).

ii. Paul “was aware how powerfully a counterfeit show of purity deceives the godly.” (Calvin)

d. It is better to marry than to burn with passion: Paul recognizes marriage as a legitimate refuge from pressures of sexual immorality. One should not feel they are immature or unspiritual because they desire to get married so as to not burn with passion.

i. Paul is not speaking about what we might consider “normal” sexual temptation. “It is one thing to burn, another to feel heat . . . what Paul calls burning here, is not merely a slight sensation, but being so aflame with passion that you cannot stand up against it.” (Calvin)

ii. At the same time, if someone has a problem with lust or sexual sin, they should not think that getting married will automatically solve their problems. Many a Christian man has been grieved to find that his lust for other women did not magically “go away” when he got married.

So here it is. It's on the inside of my my right ankle. :-) It looks like there is some redish color in there but that's just my skin... I think it's irritated from the actual needle and so it's my blood under my skin. I could be wrong though. :-) It will fade some after it peels and flakes off. :-)

S&S Tattoo in Carrollton! :-) Good job Jason!

TATTOO!!!!

Last night I got a tattoo. Yippie!! I went in with a bulletin from church of what I wanted and he got pretty close and it turned out better then I could have imagined! The only thing I am bummed about is that james is something with me... he doesn't know but he is ___________.... I don't know if it is mad, disappointed, hurt, angry.... I don't know???? He was supposed to go with me to my Granny's for her 76th birthday and last night he said he didn't know if he was going to go with me and he couldn't exactly tell me why... So, this makes me sad. I got the tattoo for me... I want to be able to glorify God with it. If it strikes up a convo with someone, I look at it and remember Him, whatever... It's for Him and not for him. Sara and I had an amazing time together getting it bonding and praying together and for each other... we now know 3 men @ S&S tattoo that we can pray for. We had some really good conversations with them about Jesus and we can only pray and hope that the Lord used us to plant or water some seeds!

Anyway, I so happy and so sad at the same time....

Good News came from the doctor! Yea! I go back on Thursday...

_______________________________________

I don't understand how I can know something is wrong and sinful but not feel convicted about it? Like I know while I am doing something that is it wrong... that God is looking down on me shaking His head and in my mind I am thinking these thoughts but I continue on anyway.... And when I look back and reflect I think I should not have done that and I pray to God to convict me but I still don't feel convicted... I don't get it... Part of me thinks... so was it really all that wrong??? Maybe it's time that we make it right???? I don't know... I'm going to pray some more...

Tomorrow is the day. My boss was super okay with letting me leave work early. He is getting off work early as well to go along with me... He's there to support me, hold my hand, to ask his own questions and mine, as well as to be my ears. I don't know what His purpose is in all this but I don't know His plan is more perfect then anything I could ever dream up. I have prayed and prayed, harder then I ever have before for this to all be a mistake... for a miracle. I believe deep in my hear that is possible and I pray. But why would He do that? I don't deserve it in any way. I don't deserve His love at all.
Lord, I beg you here tonight Father... heal my body, make me well... my sins have been washed clean but I feel like there is a sinful residue covering my body that is keeping me from being fully clean... I know this is not true Lord but I want to be honest and confess that this is how I am feeling right now... I pray for you to cure, heal, take away all that is wrong with my body. I pray for James' ears Lord. I pray that he hear and understand all that is spoken in the room tomorrow. I pray for his heart Lord. That he be able to love me through all of this Lord.
I am humbled but I am scared to death. I feel faithless and full of all this hope at the same time- I don't know how that is possible.... it's tiresome and confusing. This whole week I have struggled with hearing the Lord and hearing Satan.... what is truth and what is lies? Sometimes I don't know and other times it's just easier to believe the lies because they make more sense... I don't deserve His love but again, He continues to unconditionally.

WOW.... I am overwhelmed....

hard times

I feel lonely, broken, kind of disgusting, dirty, angry, sad, hopeless.... but at the same time thankful, full hope, washed, and loved..... is this possible to feel all these things at the exact same time? How does one handle all these emotions?

Monthly Update and pics

Measurement Chart

the many faces of james

This came from no where

So, I'm totally not a poet and have never written anything and I don't know if this is anything but it just all kind of came to my head...

He, I

He walks in the room,
I melt
He kisses me,
I get butterflies
He runs through my mind,
I lose my breath
He touches my skin,
I get chills
He looks in my eyes,
I get lost
He holds me,
I am safe
He is patient,
I am thankful
He speaks,
I listen
He leaves,
I can't wait for the moment he returns
He knows my heart,
I know his
He is good to me,
I get tears in my eyes
He loves me
I love him

there ya go...

February Update

Measurement Chart

Okay, so if you check out the updated chart- there are a few small improvements and in some instances, no change at all. I am satisfied with the results so far. Everything isn't going to happen all at once. My body is a work in progress. :-) I am making it to the gym 4 - 5 times a week. This is good. I am watching what I put in my body. This no caffeine thing is doing me good. I have maybe 1 or 2 7ups/sprites a week. And actually I am out of them here at the house so I prob won't be having any at all now. For breakfast I have a bowl of cereal and some juice or milk. Then for lunch I am eating like 300 calories and that's it. And for dinner, it varies. Granny usually cooks or I do or we do, sometimes I go out to eat. When I go out to eat, I try to be careful about what I choose to eat. There was one week in January I didn't make it to the gym but like once or maybe twice. It was the week I went to Vegas with James. It was just a busy week. And of course the food in Vegas is GOOD! Upon our return, I felt so gross.

So, with all this said- I will keep on treckin!

i suck but it's not all my fault...

I haven't been blogging... but I didn't have internet at my house for almost 2 whole weeks, and in that I also spent a weekend in Vegas (a very bad eating and workout weekend).

Other then that one week, I have been pretty good on eating and working out. :-)

I'll get back to blogging. Promise. And measurement time comes up this weekend.

ME: right here & now

Measurement Chart

in double 07

First off- HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I pray that for those of you that know Jesus, learn to love Him even more then you already do and for those of you that do not know Him, know that He loves you no matter what!

Ok, so I am writing this thing to share my resolution with all to know... in this, you guys get to keep me accountable!
I am writing a resolution this year in hopes of growing closer to God, my father. I want it all to be laid down at the foot of His cross and it is an attempt to be done in His name as a form of praise and love. With that said, I am going to jump right on in!

1. I am giving up all caffine... yes, this does include chocolate. For those of you that know me- know that this is going to be very difficult. But, I have faith with God on my side, I can disipline myself to not even think about it nor desire to even eat or drinking it (I absolutely adore Starbuck's hot chocolate...) I do not need to energy from anything but the Lord. He is my strength.
2. I am working out... on a daily basis. I know this is so typical and in everyone's resolution. haha... I know, I know!!! But it is different. I don't have just one goal with this one. Of course I want to be in shape, feel good and look good. I will be and have a rock star body!!! Just kidding... kind of. And I know you're asking, "and how is this any different from every other ameriacan on the planet?!?" It is, I promise. So, my other goal. It is to train, learn, and discipline myself and my body. I am training myself to do something and want to do something because I have a desire. I am going to do it because I do not want to be lazy anymore. I do not want it to be a habit to go to the gym, I want to want to go and I am going to get it done and look back and say, "I DID IT!" I don't like having all these want to's and I wish I would have's. I want "I did that."
3. I also want to live right here and right now. I am in no way promised tomorrows breath. That is a good chance I will go to bed tonight and not wake up tomororw as well as there is a good chance I will go to bed tonight and wake up tomorrow and continue. But I don't want to look at tomorrow, I am sitting right here and right now on this computer in my Granny's living room typing this blog and that is exactly where my brain should be. I don't want to dream of tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, ect... you get the point. I have a bad habit of looking and dreaming of the future- but how is that living??? That's not living at all- that's dreaming. I am commanded to be satisfied in right now, what the Lord has given to me. Side note: Don't get me wrong, I am not going to forget of tomorrow or yesterday. I will still plan things and pray for the desires of my heart- which sometimes involves the future. And some things I do have to wait for because the Lord has His will, HIs plan, His story for me. It's all been written and I will be right here and right now.

All of these are things I desire of myself. I desire to be disiplined and a person of my word. I want to be like Christ. I don't want to fall into habit, which is what I do on a daily basis. I want this discipline I am and will continue to learn to fall into all aspects of my life: work, relationships, finances, and most important of all, my relationship with God. I want to pray everyday all day long. I don't want it to just be on my way to work because it's convient for me. And then when vacation or the weekend rolls around, I just don't do it because I didn't have my 30 minute drive to work. I want do pray because that is my special time I get to spend with God.

I love Jesus... that's all I got.